Chapter 20: Wishful Thinking

Hey again.  Though this chapter wasn’t really longer than the last, it felt like it was with all the bricks of text.

On Wednesday of next week, I am going to be moving back to Hawaii.  I won’t have a computer for a while, so I won’t be able to post anything for a few weeks. (Most likely)  As such, I will try to translate as much as I can before then, to try to get further than Diwasteman got.

Hopefully I can get some new material for you guys before I go.

………considering the title, no pun intended. xD

With the powdered milk and sugar gone from the hot water supply room, Mizuki and her brothers stayed in the innermost room of the floor, eating the candy they found in desks. Splitting the very last of the food between her brothers, Mizuki lost energy to the point where even waking up was troublesome.

Shaking her, her brother has a hard time waking her up. With hazy eyes, she looks at Takashi. Moving her gaze in the direction he was pointing, she saw a man standing there. Reflexively she starts to scream, but as if to cut her off, the man holds up his hands and opens his mouth; saying he isn’t anyone suspicious.

To those words, Mizuki stuttered. If she looked closely at his face, he wasn’t someone she remembered. He was someone else. He had black hair, and on his face, which lacked characteristics, there were a pair of sharp eyes. As if observing something, a strange look surfaced in his eyes. While placing his bag on the floor, the man asked, “Want to eat?”.

After that, the situation constantly changed. With food no longer a problem, they were left with nothing but free time. During this time, Mizuki’s heart becomes disturbed. Resting her body on the couch, hazily looking at her brothers, her spirit seemed to be fading.

In order to get food, she has to ‘comfort’ that guy’s ‘thing’. Whether that fact is reality or not, she doesn’t know.

If they were to be abandoned now, they would certainly starve. With that imminent fate weighing on her mind, she decided to handle his ‘thing’ in exchange for food. However, her heart couldn’t agree with her decision.


The first time, she ended it quickly out of desperation. The second time, as if watching it all happen on a film, she lost her sense of reality.

(Why am I doing this sort of thing?)

In the men’s restroom, with her fingers wrapped around his hard ‘thing’, Mizuki is consumed by this thought.

(Even if I was the one who suggested it…..)

In order to get food, she had no choice but to do it. If she had rejected him, he could easily have abandoned them. Looking at him, she understood. He wasn’t very obsessed with Mizuki. She didn’t feel his gaze stick to her like the other’s did.

If it was a man’s gaze, it was something she had felt on a daily basis. The gazes of her flattering juniors, or of her childhood friend, Mizuki instinctively knew how to dodge them.

(TL: Poor A-kun, that friend zone, my opinion of Mizuki has somewhat fallen.)

However, that gaze which looked at her as if she were worthless……

If faced by that lean man’s vicious eyes and asked whether to starve or please him, she would have probably refused. She would have been overcome with fear and ran away instinctively.

(That kind of…..)

Approached with that cold and cruel deal, what had been wounded was her pride. However, in order to keep her and her brothers alive, she couldn’t refuse it. There was no fear. There was only the anger of having no choice but to receive the help.

Suddenly a question popped into her head.

(Was it really not safe outside?)

That thought had sprouted in a corner of her mind, and gradually spread.

(Why can that person so easily come and go? Even though it’s said to be dangerous, how is he able to gather that much food?)

In the first place, the atmosphere was strange. Everyone that had been shut up in this office were nervous about the situation. Anxious, in despair, stir crazy; she couldn’t feel these from him at all.

(Haven’t the mobs already disappeared?)

(Wasn’t he just hiding that fact, and tricking me into doing this for him?)

The memory of that hectic night had dimmed. (TL: The night with all the traffic.)

(But it’s weird. For there to be zombies…… What if everything has calmed down……. And dad and mom are at the house, waiting for us to return……..? If they are worried, calling around……. Waiting for us to come home………)

Deep in thought, Mizuki’s pupils slowly spread out.

(What am I even doing here…..?)

As it spun around and around in her head, that thought grew.

After making sure Yusuke had gone down in the elevator, Mizuki returned to the room. After finding a field bag, she picks it up. She packs the food hidden at the bottom of the locker, and throws the bag over her shoulder. She looks back at her brothers, also holding their bags. They had almost finished preparing.

(It’ll be fine….. Even that person was able to leave so easily…..)

“…..Well, shall we return?”

To Mizuki’s words, Masaru looks up with a worried expression.

“We’re finally going back?”

“Yep. Mom’s waiting for us you know. Probably.”

Mizuki nods. Her brothers smile; which was something she hadn’t seen them do in a while. They climb over the barricade and face the elevator. She presses a button, calling the elevator back up; and watches the overhead display as it counts up from the first floor to the third.

(It’ll be okay……… It’ll definitely…….. be okay………)

The elevator doors open and the three of them get in.

She presses the button for floor one, and the elevator begins its decent. Feeling the floating feeling, characteristic of all elevators, she watches the display.

3F, 2F, 1F.

Gradually, her vision narrows, and her surroundings begin to darken to the point where all she can see are the floor numbers.

(Why did I bring food? If it was safe outside, I shouldn’t need something like that. I should be able to safely walk home, take a shower, eat a meal, and with that it would all be over.)

(Had I thought that something would happen outside?)

Her breathing became ragged. Her whole body felt as if it had been covered in goosebumps.


It felt like she was making a grave mistake. Right now, she could still turn back….. As if imagining a scene where she was dragged into the depths of hell, Mizuki prayed.

(That’s wrong….. It has to be safe………… please…….)

The doors to the first floor open.

Nothing was there. There was only the backyard isle spread before them.

(TL: I guess it is similar to an isle in Walmart that sells outdoor stuff?)

Cautiously, they stepped outside. There was nobody around, the place was uninhabited. Mizuki let out a sigh of relief, and adjusted the bag on her shoulders.

(See, it’s just as I predicted. There isn’t something like zombies…….)

“Oi, what are you doing?”

Surprised at the voice, Mizuki turns towards it. When she turns, she sees Yusuke standing there. He looks at them questioningly.

He was returning to get his bag that he left. She found someone she shouldn’t have found. Taking her brothers along with her, she turns and runs in the opposite direction.

“Where are you going!? It’s dangerous!”

(There’s no way it’s dangerous!)

Suppressing the urge to shout this, Mizuki responds by yelling,

“We’re going home!”

“Ta-kun, Ma-kun, let’s go home!”

In response to that joyful voice, her brothers make strange faces, but quietly follow along. They open the double swinging doors at the back of the backyard section.

There, Mizuki froze.

She saw three people standing by the fruit corner. All three of them looked in her direction. It was the same atmosphere as that night.   (TL: Day zero night)

Their gaze was full of malice. They had the look of predators. She felt their gaze pierce through her body.


Before she could say anything, a man approached from between two shelves.

“Old, Old man…..” (TL: “Oji, san….” It’s the old man employee)

She muttered while dumbfounded.

It was the employee that was the first to leave. Half of his scalp was peeled back, exposing the skull underneath. The hair and skin were hanging beside his ear. His eyes were hollow and he had dried blood coating his chest and stomach.

No matter how you looked at it, he was dead.

Her brain stopped thinking all together.

“What are you doing?!”

Yusuke’s voice overlapped with the man coming to attack. Mizuki trips over her legs and falls. Missing her, the man’s attack digs into the luggage on her back, knocking it to the floor with a loud sound.

The other zombies began to move.

Feeling something pulling on her arm, Mizuki looks and sees Masaru tugging on her. With a face that looks like he’s about to cry, he frantically tries to drag her to the elevator.

“What the hell are you doing?! Hurry up and get the kids back out of the way!”

Yusuke runs over. He throws himself into the zombie that is trying to attack Takashi, and together, they fall over. Mizuki tries to stand, but her legs won’t support her. As if all her strength had left her, she tumbles to the ground. With no other option, she crawls towards the elevator.

“Don’t act violently!”

Behind her, she could hear Yusuke’s angry voice and fierce fighting.

Finally, the three of them made it inside the elevator. While shaking and trembling, Mizuki uses the wall as support to rise to her feet. She looks at Yusuke, who is entangled with the zombies,

“Ah…… Takemura-san, h, hurry up….”

“Shut the door already you dimwit! Go! Go!”

(TL: He calls her “bokenasu” which literally means “dumb eggplant” xD)

While jumping, Takashi presses the button to the 3rd floor. Slowly, the doors shut. In the narrow gap of the closing doors, Yusuke struggles to hold back the zombies. He loses to the power of the rushing zombies, and falls to the ground. Cutting off the spectacle, the doors finally shut.

The elevator rises.

After what felt like an eternity, the elevator dings. Having left everything behind, they arrived at the 3rd floor.

With a sick feeling, Mizuki pulls her brothers out of the elevator. Slowly, they climb over the barricade and sit against the wall on the other side.

For a while, no one said anything. The elevator showed no movement. It remained at the 3rd floor the entire time. With a blank expression, she sat there with her brothers, staring at it for nearly an hour.

The elevator didn’t move at all. It was never called back down.

“Big bro, died.” (TL: Onii-chan)

With a soft voice, Masaru mutters such.

At those words, it felt like her hardened body was softening. Something was building up in the back of her throat. (TL: Feeling when you’re about to cry)


(We can’t return. We are all going to die.)

(I killed us.)


(Even though I knew it wasn’t safe)


Mizuki sat there like, sobbing as if she were a child.


21 thoughts on “Chapter 20: Wishful Thinking

  1. As for me? I’m just reading and waiting for when the MC gets his just desserts. That doesn’t mean I hate this story. I’m just waiting for karma to strike. Its going to be delicious!

    Thanks for the translations!


  2. Lucky girl! IN a zombie apocalypse she got enough food for 3 person very safely doing the normal work any girl will do in a matter of time. Also, there’s no sign showing that boy intend something strange, or that he has other girls elsewhere (that she know of). She can easily lure herself into a stockholm syndrome very easily. Because human psyche is a wonderful thing if they want to live.

    The fact that she doesnt go that way, but this way show that she has PTSD problem. Understandable~


    • well she’s a strong willed person you see… kinda.
      she has little brother so it could not be helped she has to comply. if not she probably try to storm her own way alone and ended up eaten…

      Liked by 1 person

      • Wrong interpretation! She shows every signs of being broken, She doesnt want to face the reality is that this zombie apocalypse is happening and they could get killed at any minute now~
        “(Was it really not safe outside?)” Are you kidding me? That is the thought process of a sane person? With two brothers depended on her?

        I am not blaming her for wanting to escape reality (because ZA is scary), but call her sane or in command of her thought capacity is too much.


      • It’s actually a sane person’s thought if you look at it in her perspective. Someone come in and out easily without any noticeable (or not) wound, show no anxiousness, being carefree and even bother to bring toys for her brothers. If you are not starting to question if it’s actually safe outside or not, I would say you are already broken at that time. Only broken ones would have been content with living like a live stock.


      • Go read that chapter about her previous day and tell me she didnt just experience ALL that. No one normal would think that her days from then on is normal or safe.

        What is going on in her head is that she doesnt want to think about reality. A reality that doesnt contain her parents, or safe food, or her not being scared shitless…

        That’s why she choose to lead her brothers out. To thoughtlessly deny that reality is happening. Because to think is to accept reality.

        That little thing that she has to suck or handle? It’s small potato, pardon the pun~ It’s not what drive her out.


  3. if mc dont have strange ability that make zombie ignore him, i will curse that naive and burden girl cz in the movie many people that causing other people dead cz their stupidity….[i mean in zombie movie]

    good work
    thx for chapter


  4. Best chapter so far, this event means a new relation to happen between them, depending on yusuke’s respond tho.

    *hope he turns out to be somehow positive*



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